I've Seen You Before Innit II

Submitted by Ben Purton.

                                   © John Saunders          

                   Martin Gould, snooker pro          Sean Hewitt, e2e4 supremo 

Is It A Bird? Is It A Plane? No, It's...

... a 4NCL Division 3 report! Lucky you.

In my student days, getting from Coventry to Daventry was almost too easy. However, the journey in from Macclesfield is a lot less fun, and after 2 trains, a bus (25 minutes late) and a 2 mile walk I was not in the best of moods. I arrived to find the game already underway, and due to a default I'd been bumped up to a career high of 3rd board for Bristol 3 vs Guildford A&DC 3, which incidently also happened to be board 333. With the magic number on my side, nothing could go wrong.

Richard Bryant (174) - (139) John-Paul Taylor

1. e4 d5 2. Nc3!?

Oh, what the hell is this? I took a bit of a think to consider 2. ... e6 and 2. ... c6 hoping to transpose into a French or Caro, before realising I had no idea how to play either.

2. ... d4 3. Nce2 c5 4. Ng3 e5 5. Bc4 Nf6 6. Nf3 Bd6 7. O-O Bd7 8. d2 b5?!

Not the greatest of ideas. After 9. Bb3 I'd planned to chuck in 9. ... a5 and really go to town on his queenside, but 10. a4! pisses on that bonfire.

9. Bb3 O-O 10. a4 c4!?

I'm still unsure whether this should get a !? or a ?! but I'm feeling generous. This was played partly out of anger that my a5 idea didn't work, partly because I didn't like the look of playing b4 giving white a delicious outpost on c4, and mostly because it looked like good fun. With open files aimed at the b and c pawns, and also weakening the e pawn I felt I had at least some justification for playing this.

11. dxc4 bxc4 12. Bxc4 Bc6 13. Qe2 Qb6 14. Bd3 Nbd7 15. Nd2 Bb4 16. Nc4 Qb7 17. f3 Qc7 18. f4 Ne8?

Either rook to e8 would've been prudent. Now comes the attack.

19. Nxe5 Nxe5 20. fxe5 Qxe5 21. Bf4 Qc5 22. e5 Nc7 23. Qg4 Ne6 24. Nh5 Kh8 25. Qf5 g6 26. Qf6+ Kg8 27. Qh4?

The knight can safely be taken, presumabley my opponent didn't spot my 28th move. Instead, 27. Bh6! Qe7 (27. ... Qd5? 28. Nf4!) 28. Qxe7 Bxe7 Bxf1 wins an exchange, and black's position is untenable.

27. ... gxh5 28. Qxh5 f5! 29. Bxf5 Rxf5


Possibly not necessary, but with 11 moves still to make before the time control, I was keen to swat a few of the wasps buzzing around my king.

30. Qxf5 Nxf4 31. Rxf4 Be8 32. Qe4 Rd8 33. Kh1 Bg6 34. Rg4 Kh8??



Both of us missing the win under time pressure: 35. Rxg6! hxg6 36. Qh4+


35. Qf4? Qb6 36. Qg5 Rd5 37. Rf1 Qe6 38. Qf6+ Qxf6 39. exf6 Bxc2 40. f7 Bg6??

Awful, and probably worth 3 question marks. The obvious 40. ... Rd8 gives black good opportunities to draw, but with seconds on the clock I hallucinated a mate and blundered away any chance of that.

41. f8Q+ Bxf8 42. Rxf8+ Kg7 43. Rf2 Re5 44. h4 Re1+ 45. Kh2 Rd1 46. h5

1-0

Sigh.

A disappointing performance to start the season off for me, but elsewhere Steve Woolgar continued his excellent form in the 4NCL, winning on board 2 against an opponent who outgraded him by over 300 points, and Martin Oliver recorded an impressive win with the black side of a Caro Kann on board 1. The match finished with Guildford A&DC 3 winning 3-2, not too shabby given we were outgraded by an average of 361 points and if it weren't for my blunder on move 40 it could have been a dream result.

After enjoying the traditional Daventry cuisine and nightlife I was up for round 2. The gods of 4NCL had other ideas though, and we were faced with Mission Impossible after conceding the bottom two boards to defaults and being docked 1.5 points in the process. We needed 4/4 against 1894 average opposition, and with Martin being promoted to the second team I was on board 1. Bring it on.

John-Paul Taylor (139) - (172) Tim Lunn

1. e4 d5 2. exd5 Qxd5 3. Nc3 Qd6!?

Unusual Scandinavians seem to be the dish of the day, and whilst I have actually seen this one a couple of times before, I don't really know what I'm supposed to do. I opted, as I often do in such circumstances, for aggression.


4. Bc4 Nf6 5. d3 a6 6. Qf3!?

Going straight for the jugular on f7 and preventing any b5 antics he might have been planning, but the queen does become a target. 6. Nf3 may have been more sensible, but that's just not my style.

6. ... Nc6 7. Ne4 Qd8 8. c3?


Looking to prevent the annoying Nd4, but ends up just weakening my pawn structure. Trading knights on f6 followed by 9. Ne2 might have been better.


8. ... Ne5! 9. Nxf6+ exf6 10. Qe2 Qe7 11. Bf4 Nxc4 12. Qxe7+ Bxe7 13. dxc4 c6 14. Nf3 O-O 15. O-O

So much for aggression. I suppose I could have offered a draw here, but I was hungry for vengeance for round 1.

15. ... Be6 16. Rfe1 Rfe8 17. b3 Bg4 18. Rad1 Kf8 19. a4 Rad8 20. Bc7 Rxd1 21. Rxd1 Bf5 22. Rd2!? Ba3 23. b4? Bc1

Oops. Ra2 is possible now, hanging on to the pawn, but I was more concerned with the back rank issues.


24. Bd6+ Kg8 25. Rd1 Bb2 26. Nd4 Bg6 27. b5 cxb5 28. axb5 Bxc3 29. bxa6 bxa6 (Not 29. ... Bxd4? 30. axb7!) 30. g4 Be4 31. f3!? Bxd4+ 32. Rxd4 Bxf3

Buying an opposite coloured bishops endgame at the cost of a pawn. I knew I should have just offered a draw earlier.

33. Kf2 Bb7 34. Bb4 g5 35. Rd7 Bc8 36. Rd6 Kg7 37. Bc3 Re6 38. Rd5 Re4!? 39. Rxg5+ Kf8 40. Rc5 Be6 41. h3 Ke7 42. Rc7+ Kd6 43. Kf3 Rxc4 44. Rxc4 Bxc4 45. Bxf6 Ke6 46. g5 Kf5 47. h4 Bb3 48. h5? Bd1+ 49. Ke3 h6? 50. Be7! Bxh5 51. gxh6 Bg6

Blunders galore, but now the draw from here ought to be relatively straightforward, right? My king runs to a1 and I stick my bishop on the a7-g1 diagonal, ready to snap off the f pawn whenever I get the chance. Easy.

52. Bc5?!

But don't do it in the wrong order! Now a race ensues.

52. ... Ke5 53. Bd4+ Kd5 54. Bf6 a5 55. Kd2 Kc4 56. Kc1 Kb3 57. Kd2 a4 58. Ke3 Kc2 59. Kd4 a3 60. Kc5 a2 61. Kd6 Kb1 62. Ke7 a1=Q 63. Bxa1 Kxa1 64. Kf6 Bb2 65. h7 Bxh7 66. Kxf7

½-½

Phew. Sadly the team didn't share my luck, losing by 6½ - an impressive margin for a 6 board match. Hopefully we'll be able to field a full team by January.

Joseph J. Stewart (1982 - 2010)

We were tonight saddened to hear the news that one of our biggest fans, Joey Stewart, has passed away following a short illness. He is thought to have contracted avian flu after a swan sneezed on him last month.

Tragically, while at the 4NCL last weekend, he shared a water bottle with Jerry Humphreys and David Buckley - both are now in intensive care and may not make it through the month.

Ironically, he was a big lover of birds and was even chosen to play the lead in Baz Luhrmann's remake of the 1969 classic Kes, which will get its screen release in Summer 2011.

Before Kes, he was best known for a legal dispute in 2003 with fellow actor Matt Le Blanc over rights to the name 'Joey'. Le Blanc objected to Stewart having the name Joseph as both his first and middle names (having been baptised by a priest with a speech disorder) and forced him to shorten his middle name simply to 'J'.

Shortly before he died, he sent us notes from his last ever competitive game. We publish them here for posterity. He is survived by his estranged husband Patrick, whom he met on the set of Star Trek Nemesis in 2000.

J. Stewart (deceased) - (2002) G. Harley-Yeo

1. e4 c5 2. Nf3 e6 3. Qe2

Many people question the logic of this move, but it does have its merits - it prevents black from playing d5 and establishing a good pawn centre as the e6 pawn is pinned. Also white is intending g3 and Bg2 so it is not restricting the bishop as much as it initially appears. Lastly, it avoids going into the sharpest main lines which will more likely be comfortable for black to play.

3... b6 4. g3 Bb7 5. Bg2 d5

Probably this move comes too early, as mentioned before, the queen pins the e6 pawn and black is forced to capture with the bishop or queen which can be kicked away by Nc3 and gaining a tempo.

6. exd5 Bxd5 7. 0-0 Nf6 8. Rd1

To provide support in preperation for d4.

8... Nbd7 9. Nc3 Bc6 10. d4 cxd4 11. Nxd4 Bxg2 12. Kxg2

I felt that by allowing this good bishop to be traded it would be removing one of blacks useful defending pieces and give my knights more scope to intrude onto his position- especially if it became possible to play Nxe6!

12... Qc7 13. Ncb5 Qb7+ 14. f3 Be7

The temptation of Nxe6 was strong, especially with Nd6+ as quite a severe follow up threat, but after black plays Kf8 he seemed to be able to hang onto the piece and it is not quite possible to deliver a killing blow - therefore another move needed to be found.

15. Nf5!

The knight obviously cannot be taken as Nd6+ wins blacks queen but black is also not able to castle as the bishop will be en prise, the threat of Nxg7+ and Nd6+ also need to be met and Gareth found the best defensive move to hold his position together.

15... Kf8 16. Nxe7 Kxe7 17. Bf4 Kf8

Another good defence, avoiding Bd6+ where the black king gets stuck in the centre with little hope of ever finding sanctuary.

18. Rd2

I had another long think about playing Nc7 and Nxe6+, with the threat of Bd6 mate looming, it turned out that Ne8 would have provided adequate defence for black to hang on again and retain my piece - therefore I had to go about playing in a less exciting fashion from this point onwards.

18... h6

Allowing an escape route for the king, should I feel inclined to carry out the aforementioned sacrifice.


19. Rad1 Nd5 20. Bd6+ Kg8 21. c4 N5f6 22. Be7 Nf8 23. Bxf6


The bishop had to move anyway, as it was attacked by the queen, but taking here spoils blacks pawn structure and also allows a second bite at attacking the king with one less defender in the way.

23... gxf6 24. Nd6 Qc7 25. Qe4 Rd8 26. Qf4 f5


This allows a tactic to win a pawn although,interestingly enough, fritz prefers to play the position a pawn down than in its current state.
27. Nxf5! Rxd2+ 28. Rxd2 Qxf4 29. Ne7+ Kg7 30. gxf4 Kf6


Again, my team mates were somewhat unimpressed by the fact I had conceded a weak pawn structure just to win an already bad pawn but as it is so often said 'a pawn is a pawn', and my pieces are also still relatively active.


31. Nc6 Ng6 32. Kg3 Rg8 33. Rd8


Black has to either trap his rook on g7, to keep the pressure on, or swap off into a knight ending of uncertainty.


33... Rg7 34. Nxa7


Avoiding the threat of Ne5+ or Ne7+ and winning a piece.


34... Ne5+ 35. Kf2 Nxc4 36. b3 Na5?


The kinght is trapped here now and black is powerless to stop it being rounded up in the next couple of moves - Na3 was the only option to preserve the piece.


37. Rb8 Kf5 38. Rxb6 Nxb3 39. axb3 Kxf4 40. Nc6 e5 41. Ne7


I have been seeing lots of puzzles lately involving knights delivering a checkmate against a trapped king and this seemed to be the sort of position where one might be possible.


41... f5 42. Ng6+ Kg5 43. Nxe5 Ra7


I had intended to play Rg6+ and swap into a won pawn ending, so this move was prudent to keep blacks chances alive.


44. h4+ Kxh4 45. Rxh6+ Kg5 46. Rg6+

46... Kh5


Kf4 looked natural but did, in fact, allow a mate on d3 with the knight.



47. Rg1 Ra2+ 48. Ke3 Rb2 49. Kf4 Kh6 50. Kxf5 Rxb3 51. f4 Rb4 52. Ng4+ Kg7 53. Kg5 Rb5+ 54. f5 Ra5 55. Rb1 Kh8 56. Kg6 Ra8 57. Nf6!


Forces mate in two - Rh1#, Rb8# or Rg8+ Nxg8 Kxg8 Rb8#.


57... Ra1


In the online blitz world this could well work ,as white would have his rook hovered over the h1 square ready to drop, otherwise he might play Rxa1 stalemate. our team needed the points though, so I had to decline the drawing tactic.


58. Rb8 mate

1-0

Maud Watt Sorts Your Life Out III

Life is a cruel mistress. So is Maud Watt. Here she is again to fight fire with fire.


Which response would you recommend to 1. d4 e5?


RN, Dublin

Why bother to learn opening theory when you'll only fuck up the middlegame anyway? Your best bet is to pretend to be having a really long think on move 2, and eventually your opponent will get bored and leave the table. Take this opportunity to poison his beer. I recommend Aconitine, as there's no known antidote.

_____________________________________________________


Maud, my clock handling has become very bad in the last few months - I always seem to be in time trouble. Any advice?


JVS, Devon

Remember that Einstein's Theory of Special Relativity proved that time is relative. Use this to claim that from your viewpoint, your opponent ran out of time 10 minutes ago. If he's too stupid to understand this concept, I often find it helpful to explain it with the analogy of the relativity of teeth. Hit him in the mouth with a brick.

_____________________________________________________


Do you have an urgent chess issue to resolve? Email extremelydistressingnews@gmail.com with 'Maud Watt' in the subject line.

Checks In The City

Revenge is a wonderful dish. And that's what Metropolitan feasted on last night as they admonished us for having the temerity to smash them up a few weeks ago. On paper, we were extremely evenly matched and until the last 10 minutes of the session, 4-4 looked likely. But on this occasion, it didn't quite happen for us. Full power to them though - they've now blown the relegation scrap wide open.

No full game this time as the unrecorded time scramble accounted for at least 30% of it. Besides, the first couple of hours were interesting enough.

George Dickson (178) - (185) Philip J. Makepeace

1. d4 d5 2. Bf4 e6 3. e3 Bd6 4. Bg3 h5!?

Like my fellow students the day before, an attempt to wake the city up.

5. Bd3 h4 6. Bxd6 Qxd6 7. Qg4 Kf8!?

7... Ne7 is definitely playable. However, with the centre pretty fixed and Rex staring down a vacant file, I was fairly comfortable with playing this.

8. Nd2 Nc6 9. c3 e5 10. dxe5 Nxe5 11. Qe2 Nxd3+ 12. Qxd3 Ne7 13. O-O-O

Not sure why, given that I'm bearing down on the kingside, but I was surprised by this decision. I suppose I overestimated how much influence the bishop would have on the otherwise vacant diagonal.

13... Bf5 14. Qe2 Qg6 15. e4 dxe4 16. f3 e3 17. Qxe3 Qa6 18. a3 Rd8 19. Ne2 Nd5 20. Qc5+ Kg8 21. Rhe1 Rh6 22. Nd4 Bd3 23. c4

There are so many fruity tactical tries here that just don't work. I was very close to playing 23... b6 24. Qb5 Nc3 25. bxc3 (25. Qxa6 Na2 mate) Qxa3 but the white queen can block on b2. 

23... Nf4 24. Ne4?

What I'd expected, but it allows a crushing reply that I didn't even consider: 24... Rh5!

Any sensible queen move leaves the d4 knight en prise, while Nf5 or Ng5 leave the c4 pawn to be captured with check after the rook hoovers it up.

As it was, in deepening time trouble, I steered it into this advantageous ending.

And couldn't convert it in the face of inspired defence that I have, alas, been unable to reconstruct. Well played George.

Boards 3 and 8 were quickish draws, while grading favourite Graeme fell foul of a brave decision to play for a win on Board 6. Dick continued his great start to the season and Dan's game never looked like anything other than a draw.

Unfortunately, Tom Villiers and Stuart Farnan, back after a lengthy hiatus, couldn't get it done, so our unbeaten start is over. Tom's game in particular looked insane - I'll try to cover it on these pages at some point.

	METROPOLITAN 1	ECF	Result	ECF	MUSWELL HILL
1	Cengiz Hasman	199	½ - ½	188	Dan Hall
2	George Dickson	178	½ - ½	185	Phil Makepeace
3	Petr Vachtfeidl	173	½ - ½	170	Oliver Butt
4	Manuel Perez Carballo	183	1 - 0	177	Stuart Farnan
5	D. Ian Calvert	168	0 - 1	162	Dick House
6	Noel Stewart	149	1 - 0	158	Graeme Jenkins
7	Andrew McGuinness	159	1 - 0	160	Tom Villiers
8	John Kitchen	147	½ - ½	150	Tom Peet
		Average 169.5	5 - 3	Average 168.8