Monday, 8 August 2011

Introducing 'The Diaper'

Are you sick of the same stale opening motifs? Does the Petroff or the Fort Knox make your blood boil? Want to shit all over your position instead? Try The Diaper! Only strong players and major celebrities play it!

Don't worry about those weak dark squares - we can't use the light squares either!

This is the key starting position of the main line of The Diaper. It is reached by the following moves:

1. e4 e5  2. f3 Nc6  3. h3 Qh4+  4. Ke2 Nd4+  5. Kd3

Black has many options here, all of which are very good. However, I recommend following my advice by wearing a balaclava to each game. You can fool your opponent into thinking you're a terrorist and are likely to abduct their children if they beat you. This approach certainly carries more moral and ethical weight than most. It's particularly subtle during the winter months.


  1. Surely if you wear a balaclava you're likely to fool opponents into thinking you are their children?


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Release The Kraken by Philip Makepeace and Christopher Russell is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution 3.0 Unported License.