Saturday, 8 October 2011

Say It Loud

This thread and this thread reveal that it isn't so easy being an arbiter these days. 

Just the other week a shellsuited youth misjudged my cardigan and pointy shoes and suggested I was an arbiter. Not that it's anything to be ashamed of - indeed, a lot of my friends are arbiters - but I was shocked at the level of ignorance on display. Arbiters may have their own stereotypical fashions and an exaggerated gait, but they should of course be afforded the same rights as everyone else. The recent developments in arbiter marriage have been very pleasing.

Not an arbiter

Social acceptance has also meant that the arbiter cruising scene has emerged from the muddy moors of Hampstead Heath and Clapham Common to special licensed establishments. It's a pleasure to mix with luminaries like Belinfante, Hewitt and Holowczak in Soho of an evening. The other night, Ja Rule 10.2 played on Old Compton Street and they were loving it.

As we intimated in August, the next Arbiter Pride isn't until next summer, but they still need your support in the meantime. I implore everyone to flood the streets and wave your pairing cards in the air like you just don't care. Otherwise arbiter repression will continue unabated.


  1. Fact: I once asked for a haircut based on the one then sported by the chap in your photo.

  2. I think some arbiters would prefer the support of a "buy one get three free" curry house.

  3. Too bad he's a bit gay then innit?

  4. I have no idea who that footballer is, but is it just me or does he look like Michael McIntyre?

  5. Nonny #1: Who?

    Nonny #2: Graeme Le Saux. He got a lot of homophobic abuse in the 90s for being a clean-cut, intellectual footballer.


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Release The Kraken by Philip Makepeace and Christopher Russell is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution 3.0 Unported License.